Detoxifixion

The food allergy situation has been amended. After meeting with a nutritionist, I am currently following what is called an "elimination diet." The name does not mislead. Foods eliminated include eggs, dairy, gluten, soy, corn, "nightshades" (tomatoes, eggplant, bell peppers, potatoes) and peanuts. Pretty much all processed foods are out, as well as my cherished ice cream, which in all honesty is probably favorable to me. This is basically a whole foods diet. I find myself eating copious amounts of rice, nuts, fruit, vegetables and MEAT. Savory, delicious, protein-packed meat! While alcohol ought to be eliminated as well as coffee, my gracious nutritionist has allowed me these things. Thus I survive.

The elimination diet is temporary--clearly no one could possibly survive in America or the First World with such restrictions. The process remains an adventure, to say the least. The first few days of food elimination result in some rather grievous physical reactions: irritability, mood swings, headaches, blemishes, rashes, etc. These effects ought only last the first few days, then things clear up and health is on the way! The theory is that by eliminating all these foods--and then gradually re-introducing foods to see my tolerance of them--my body both heals and "re-sets" itself in balance.

Now, the irony is not lost on me that while this blog endeavor began as an investigation into myself as a Catholic American consumer of various media--books, movies, policies, norms, etc.--the actual texts I have taken up here have become more and more literal to the consumer theme ... so literal as to include the unexciting details of my eating habits. I could not possibly have planned for this. But I will continue to run with it.

I can't help but find spiritual implications in all this elimination and detoxification business. The connection between healing and spirituality is obvious to me, but I am educated to have "spirit vision," or whatnot. I find that I am a psycho-spiritual being and that the various transformations and traumas that I experience at an emotional, subconscious level manifest themselves physically as well. I won't get into the boring details of my personal life, save for my diet dramas, but the entire stomach strife began in sync with particular life circumstances that left me psychologically ill. The healing of emotional pain, however, did not necessarily beget healing the critical damage my body suffered. Notably, my physical healing has thus far bred much recovery in the psychological and spiritual realms of my person. Hopefully this clarifies my understanding of the body-spirit connection. If not, I'm sure this theme will arise again.

The detoxification bit causes me to wonder about such cleansing on a spiritual level. If eliminating foods that trouble my system brings about a few days of acne, itching and migraines, what might eliminating spiritual hindrances release? What might spiritual blockages be? Do I recognize the ways in which I am spiritually blocked? I'm not so sure.

Recently meditation's not working for me. I told my areligious friends this information, prefaced by the statement, "You will most likely be neutral on what I'm about to say." They were. I told my Christian friends this and received looks of pity, a rub on the back that said "I'm so sorry," and the comforting permission to stop trying if it's not working. I mention all this because the changing face of God and ever-shifting movement of the divine spirit is elusive. My non-Christian friends know this on some level, expressing doubts about the direction of their lives and feelings of being lost, off-track, or stuck. My faithful friends know this as well, telling me that sometimes God is silent, way closes, we find ourselves at an impasse. Please know that I am not dividing my loved ones into two neat groups of Christians and atheists; my point is that what I would call "spiritual blocks" materialize for us all and we use similar language to describe feeling disconnected and low. Difficulty in meditation does not equate a depressive state for me, but it does bring me to contemplate what might be blocking the peaceful flow of gathering myself each morning before the great mystery of the day in prayer and breath. It's probably the lack of soy in my diet.

RESOURCES:

Mary Douglas, Purity and Danger: An Analysis of the Concepts of Pollution and Taboo (New York: Routledge, 2000)