Hope this Advent

The very least you could do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.

Barbara Kingsolver



hope rocks!



nostalgia

"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." —John F. Kennedy, in his 1961 inaugural address.

Fer Life, Agin Common Sense

Here's something decent:

You can call yourself a “pro-conception-to-birth, indifferent-to-life conservative.” I will never refer to someone who pickets Planned Parenthood but lobbies against common-sense gun laws as “pro-life.”

From the article "Why I am Pro-life" by Thomas Friedman, NYTimes October 27, 2012  

I am the better Catholic, duh

Both Mr. Ryan and Mr. Biden are obviously serious about their Catholicism. Can anyone doubt that? They also offer a kind of Rorschach test for U.S. Catholic voters. Mr. Ryan is a Catholic who is clearly opposed to abortion and not so clearly in support of programs that would directly help the poor. Mr. Biden is not so clearly opposed to abortion and clearly in support of programs that would directly help the poor. They represent, in a sense, two distinct types of "Catholicisms" alive in our country today.

James Martin, SJ

Source: "Don't Vote for the 'Better Catholic,'" America Magazine "In All Things" blog, Friday, October 12, 2012

Secularism! Feminism! Ism-isms!

Caught wind of this radio interview (yeah, there's such a thing as Vatican Radio, who knew?) with CRS board chair Bishop Gerald F. Kicanas of Tuscon. CRS (Catholic Relief Services) is one of the three Catholic non-profits my office represents. The interview itself is probably boring for those outside of Catholicism, but there are a few challenging bits that are sticking to my brain, as it were.

In the interview, the bishop opens the following insight:

"Despite the rise of secularism, I think every human being is going to ask the basic questions, ‘who am I, where am I going and what is the best way to live my life?' So it’s important for the Church to find ways to address those questions."

I totally dig this because it has my name written all over it! Or, more accurately, this is why I am who I am--everything from why this blog exists, to why I studied spirituality and why I do the satisfying work that I do. These questions are secular questions, they are spiritual questions, they are human questions. Being--the very fact of existence and consciousness of that existence--begs these questions, and I imagine it would be a rough go searching for a human being that hasn't in some way or other asked these questions, and come up with some sort of matrix of understanding using the interpreted answers to them. This by no means indicates a like-mindedness of all people--quite the opposite. It is in asking these questions and attempting to formulate answers and create meaning in our lives that there are such varying opinions and beliefs and values among us humans. I wonder that any two humans have ever truly come up with identical responses to the question of being.

So, that's my shtick and all on that.

There is also a definite challenge to me in the bishop's words as well. His basic message in the interview pushes the importance of justice and charity, their interconnectedness to each other and their impulsion toward action. Bishop Kicanas speaks about this within the framework of Catholic Social Teaching, saying,

Sadly I think for some people there is this tension between pro-life and pro-justice but for a true believer in the Lord there is no such distinction…so a pro-immigration Catholic has to be concerned about the unborn and a person who is concerned for the unborn has to [be] concerned about people on the margins who are living less than decent lives.

I mention this because it hit me pretty hard. Am I just a buffet-style Catholic, with black and white thinking, erring on the side of justice and failing on the side of life? That is a thorny question. My mind goes to a few different places with it.

For one thing, consider the source: this is coming from a white male who has been promoted within a patriarchal hierarchy to bishop, he's most likely "celibate" (I use that term loosely), and presumably has little to no experience with the female body or even his own sexuality. So, when it comes to the pro-life debate, I am inclined to poo-poo whatever it is this man is telling me. What does he know?

For another thing, Catholic Social Teaching on the dignity of the human person includes all of life--from birth (or pre-birth) to death--and I stand staunchly against the death penalty. If I am going to be honest here, I don't really want to get into the abortion debate. I see the real problem as being unwanted pregnancies--never mind where life begins and if it's a fetus or a baby and all of that business.

These are initial thoughts and I am still wrestling with the questions ... especially on whether a pro-immigration Catholic really does have to be concerned about the unborn? I mean, yes, of course I am concerned about the unborn--that manifests itself in what I see as the greater pandemic of unnecessary pregnancies (especially in America) that occur against the landscape of a misogynist, male-dominated culture that controls so many aspects of female power, including but not limited to money, body, esteem, sex, gender, etc. Sigh.

I've thunk myself into a pondering puddle of ambiguous grey ... again. Regardless, I can be grateful that these questions continue to form me, and that I remain engaged in the matter of being, whether that results in insight (at best) or despair (at worst) or just a toss up. I'll end here with a deferral to Albert Einstein-the-great's bit of wisdom to tie this all together:

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

Thanks Al.

it's a Tuesday again, as it was then

For our post-9/11 world, for Rita, for my brother. I read this and it moved me.

Garden of Sunriver

Here are some photos from my recent vacation to paradise:

Adorable ground squirrel at top of Black Butte.

Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha, carved into post at St. Thomas Parish, Sisters, OR.

Deer bum.

Benham Falls, Deschutes River.

Birdie!

Discount shades from the Bend outlet mall, heck yes.

an orientation of the spirit

I just have to share this amazing TED talk with Bryan Stevenson (March 2012), who shares some great insights on the death penalty through the lens of forgiveness & reconciliation.

Sr. Pat Farrell for President!!

Oh wait, she is president.

"Is freedom of conscience within the church genuinely honored?" - Sister Pat Farrell, president of the LCWR.

Here's a worthwhile listen (from today's Fresh Air show, on NPR). Sr. Farrell is the first person I've encountered who articulates so well why women stay in the church (thank you thank you thank you!). I've often compared "remaining" Catholic to what it is like to be American--it's where you are born, it's who you are, and "remaining" Catholic is no different than "remaining" American (for me) during the Bush years. I will disagree until I am blue in the face, but I'm not leaving!

Amen sister!

Jesus Disco Feva

I made this mix awhile ago, and am (finally) adding it to the fodder ...

Jesus Feva from hickmaniak on 8tracks.

1. A Prayer And A Jukebox Little Anthony & The Imperials
2. Ashes To Ashes David Bowie
3. The Birds Have Risen Homosexuals
4. Just Like Heaven The Cure
5. Spiritual Cramp Christian Death
6. Saint Peter Writes His Book Sic Alps
7. Forever And Ever Amen The Drums
8. ...In the Spirit Faust
9. The Spirit Is Near Devendra Banhart
10. If Paradise Is Half As Nice Amen Corner
11. Hope Bauhaus
12. Heaven's a Truck Pavement
13. Into My Arms Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds
14. Jesus Christ Was An Only Child Sun Kil Moon
15. My Halo Atlas Sound
16. Jesus Fever 192 Kurt Vile
17. I Could Be In Heaven The Flatmates
18. Praying Hands Devo
19. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now The Smiths
20. Rise Up, Careful Bodies of Water
21. God Only Knows The Beach Boys
22. ave maria ceo

Summer Examen Retreat

Pictures from my morning's walk:

snail on my path

this strawberry was so effing delicious

my new friend

pretty!

“If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts,

we’d all have a bowl of granola.”

Source: Strangers with Candy



Amy Sedaris as Geraldine Antonia "Jerri" Blank





how to feel good about your life

part I.

Be glad that you are not here, here or here.

Do something. Advocacy is a tangible way the privileged can love and serve those who are suffering disproportionately (Matthew 25:40).

Sign up for UN action alerts, donate to local charities, or volunteer your self to make a tiny difference. You will feel so awesomely fulfilled, connected to others and to yourself, making some bit of meaning and significance during the blip of time you're here on this speck of planet.

This pep talk is really from myself to myself. And you can too!

happiness!!

“Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.” --Hafiz

As the Psalm says,

"Deep calls to deep at the thunder of your cataracts." (42.7)

this seems appropriate

Our enemies are not demons
but human beings like ourselves.
The decent person doesn't wish them personal harm.
Nor do they rejoice in victory.

Enter a battle gravely
with sorrow and with great compassion
as if attending a funeral.

Tao Te Ching

I'm wicked psychic yo

Yesterday I went for a run in the drizzle and as I was walking back on my cool down I went by the alley behind my apartment building. The alley is lined with garbage, recycle and compost bins and reeks real bad-like. The smell of the rubbish got me wondering about waste in general, and how we deal with it--compactors in kitchens, land fills, litter, yuck. What if trash could be melted and then used for another purpose, such as fuel or to make plastic playgrounds in Siberia or something to that effect? I forgot to look this up on the Internet (aka "rabbit hole") when I got home and haven't returned to the thought since ... until ...

I am on the UN Wire email list. You should be too, it's rad. In today's UN Wire is a link to an article about a communal cookstove in Kenya that is helping to reduce trash by using it as fuel, which also meets the needs of the people living in the slum as they cannot afford charcoal or firewood. Not only is this uplifting and a brilliant fusion of science and social service, BUT ALSO, I am like, totally psychic. Be impresed.

in the morning

Magnificent
The morning was, a memorable pomp,
More glorious than I ever had beheld.
The sea was laughing at a distance; all
The solid mountains were as bright as clouds,
Grain-tinctured, drench'd in empyrean light;
And in the meadows and the lower grounds,
Was all the sweetness of a common dawn--
Dews, vapours, and the melody of birds,
And labourers going forth into the fields.
Ah! Need I say, dear friend, that to the brim
My heart was full? I made no vows, but vows
Were then made for me: bond unknown to me
Was given, that I should be--else sinning greatly--
A dedicated spirit. On I walked
In blessedness, which even yet remains.


William Wordsworth


Additionally, today sounds like this. 

Winning!

A quick tally of who wins and who loses in the Republican budget looks like this:

* For the 1%, it provides more than 3 trillion dollars of tax cuts for the rich and wealthy companies;
* For big oil, it keeps in place $40 billion in tax giveaways;
* For seniors, it shreds the health care services they are counting on – driving up costs, ending Medicare as we know it;
* For the working poor, it cuts efforts to help struggling families get back on their feet, it ends meals for families amid deep job losses including $1 billion in cuts to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program; * For the disabled and children at risk, it leaves them on their own.

by Tara McGuinness, Center for American Progress

as March warms

Through the weeks of deep snow

we walked above the ground

on fallen sky, as though we did

not come of root and leaf, as though

we had only air and weather

for our difficult home.

                                 But now

as March warms, and the rivulets

run like birdsong on the slopes,

and the branches of light sing in the hills,

slowly we return to earth.

by Wendell Berry

Source: Earth Prayers From Around the World

Dust and Water

by Antony and the Johnsons

(conveniently meditative video)

Douche Driscoll

I devoured this well written piece about the new book by Christian misogynist Mark Driscoll and his oppressed wife Grace Driscoll, and how much it totally sucks. Actual quote from the book:

"My pregnant wife came home from a hair appointment with her previously long hair that I loved chopped off and replaced with a short, mommish haircut. She asked what I thought. She could tell by the look on my face. She had put a mom's need for convenience before being a wife. She wept."

He has got to have the world's smallest penis to be such a huge dickwad. Jackass.

Consuming Communion



Image taken from http://www.cavanaghco.com/



This piece on the Killing the Budda website is a totally worthwhile read about the evolution (diminishment?) of Communion wafer production. It touches upon the corporation vs. the convent (read as WalMart vs. your local shop), specialty wafers for the gluten-intolerant (yay!), nasty marketing wars, and even the theology of the wafer vs. bread as Christ. Super interesting for the theologian in me. Also pretty interesting to consider as a Christian consumer of, um, Jesus in the sacrament of the Eucharist. Now to look into Eucharistic wine trends and the theo-ethical implications there--nothing really says blood-of-Christ quite like a full-bodied (pardon the pun!) Cabernet Sauvignon. No blanc about it.

MLK + CST

Enjoy Martin Luther King Jr. Day (as perhaps a break from work), and take a moment to think about the ways in which love, acceptance, and social change happen in your life. Below is an excerpt from an article on Dr. King and Catholic Social Teaching, with a unique challenge to modern Americans. 


"The hope that inspires King’s philosophy and Catholic social teaching, and the rich, sophisticated understanding of freedom and justice expressed in each, could not contrast more sharply with the right-wing radicalism that has flourished since President Obama’s election in 2008. The Tea Party movement, shaped by radical individualism, social Darwinism, and a narrow, utopian understanding of liberty, is filled with doomsday prophets predicting the imminent destruction of American freedom at the hands of President Obama. This movement offers conspiracies and paranoia, anti-government crusades, and the promise of an increased consolidation of wealth among multimillionaires and billionaires. The defenders of human dignity inspired by King and Catholic teaching must join together to ensure that these forces will not destroy the great accomplishments of the 20^th century and ignore the government’s responsibility to promote human flourishing."


Amen.

I Got Somethin' To Say

And no, it's not simply that I love the Misfits. But I do love the Misfits.

It's a New Year and I find myself reflecting on the past year with disastrous abandon--really, somebody stop me! The minutes before sleep are filled with flip-chart memories as I click through 2011: the highs, the lows, the achievements and disappointments. Something that occurs to me is how necessary this process of mulling over myself must be, since it's been lasting nearly two weeks and refuses to budge much. Honestly, I'm kind of suffocating beneath the weight of it all. As is evident from this blog, I am always seeking meaning in experience--why did this happen, what for, who am I becoming, who am I, so what life, universe, everything? So what?!?

So, what I've decided to do is simply wait. I sit and stew in the indulgent horror of my own thoughts--dangerous narcissism; near-psychotic over-thinking of life's dumb details; deep deep joy and satisfaction coupled with the unbearable restlessness of being. Sigh. St. Ignatius of Loyola has some really great advice that I've carried with me and shared and used as appropriate (which is frequently!): Iggy says that one ought not make sweeping changes/decisions/life-moves when she is experiencing desolation. According to St. Ignatius, desolation is the

darkness of the soul, turmoil of the mind, inclination to low and earthly things, restlessness resulting from many disturbances and temptations which lead to loss of faith, loss of hope, and loss of love. It is also desolation when a soul finds itself completely apathetic, tepid, sad, and separated as it were, from its Creator and Lord (Spiritual Exercises).

Image taken from buzzfeed.com.



I love Ignatius' use of the word tepid--what's more mundane than a glass of room temperature life? Not really half-full or half-empty, just totally boring. Totally bleh. Although, I will say I'm not in the grips of bleh-dom as I have experienced depression in the past, but rather am feeling like I'm on some chaotic hamster wheel, churning over and over all the moments that comprise a year, sifting through the dirt for some bit of golden meaning.

Speaking of dirt, the following ancient Chinese saying is another helpful spiritual insight,

Do you have the patience to wait for your mud to settle; unmoving until your waters clear, and an impulse gradually leads to life? (from the Tau Te Ching, by Lau-tzu)

Essentially, what St. Ignatius is talking about is this impulse towards life, or what he calls consolation. Unlike the notion of a "consolation prize" from contemporary-speak, Ignatian consolation is deep and true contentment, "interior joy," peace. Sounds rad, right? One way to approach consolation, according to the saint, is to notice the pieces of life that are life-giving, and those that are life-draining. (Checkout the Examen for lots more on this). I think that in some subconscious and drive-me-crazy sort of way, that's exactly what all my mulling over myself is about. What in 2011 gave me life, inspired me, brought me joy? What in 2011 bred sadness, disappointment, despair? Sift it out, then purge the junk. An effective keep-toss of the year in review. I'm keeping my awesome job, loving family, amazing friends, healthy habits. I'm tossing my need to control things, quantify success, make things work, have unfair expectations. Shit, maybe I'll  just toss all my expectations but for to expect that I deserve love and joy. And some consolation baby, yeah. (Still waiting).

today's motto

emptiness is filled from the inside